Healing and Reflection

Since the last time, I have been to the psychiatrist and spoke with him. We both agreed that group therapy is the right path forward. It was nice to meet someone who has more experience with the questions I struggle with. I’ll be starting the group therapy in February. I wish it was sooner, but there is not much I can do about that.

Since I’ve talked with my sister, J, and explained where I’m at, she’s been really supportive. I kind of knew she would be, but it was nice to get it off my chest.

Dad’s funeral was 2 days ago, I knew it would be challenging, but it was so much more difficult than I thought. We got to see him before the funeral service; it looked like he would wake up any moment, but he never did. I decided that I’d speak some words to him, it was tough, but he was so influential to me and what I work with today. I’m so grateful for him.

After the funeral, we had a memorial service. It was very nice, especially hearing some stories from his childhood friend about how he was back in the day. It was also very nice to see how many people joined us and how much they loved him.

Yesterday, Mom, Sis R, her husband A, and I went to a restaurant called Kanpai Izakaya. The service at the start was rather slow, but the food was amazing. It took 25 minutes to get drinks, and when we got food, R, A, and I got served three times, while Mom didn’t get served for a while, even once. At least she could get some salmon from my dish and some edamame. After she got served, the service picked up a bit.

Before dessert, Sis gave Mom a card we had written at home, letting her know we were sending her to Svalbard for Dad and her 50th wedding anniversary. I had been planning it since before Dad’s death. She deserves to go and honor Dad’s memory.

In the evening, I went out with R and told her about my journey; we spoke for 25-30 minutes. She was very understanding and accepting as well. She let me know that I shouldn’t ask her for help with makeup, which is good to know.

Today I’m driving R and A to the airport so they can return home, I plan to tell A today.

Until next time <3